Over these past few winter months, life has called me in ways I didn’t anticipate nor really desire. I’ve felt pulled in different directions, and as a result, have felt frustrated, perplexed and resistant to this low tide. Why is this experience presenting itself to me? Surely, I’ve outgrown these patterns! What do I still need to learn here? The answers, I realised are not so simple, nor easy to recognise directly, nor do they arise in my intellect. Paying close attention to my nervous system during this time has allowed me to navigate situations which in the past would have either completely overwhelmed me or escalated due to my reactivity.
With curiosity and compassion for my humanity, I recognised I had a choice; either to continue walking down a familiar path of a very old story, or take back my power (my energy, attention and time) from areas where it has been slowly leaking out and return to a state of coherence. With increasing awareness I’ve been able to discern what is useful and what isn’t. What’s aligned and what can go.
Instead of resisting and reacting, I started leaning into the richness of the contrast presenting itself to me, listening deeply to the way Life is communicating with me. And by following the wisdom of Rilke by living the questions, living the process. In my activated state of fight/flight I had momentarily forgotten that times of contrast serve a purpose for releasing, rebalancing, renewal and new creation. This was an opportunity for deeper healing and soul-making.
While I know that living in sync with my infradium rhythm involves high and low tides of all kinds, what sustains me energetically, emotionally and physically is knowing that I can internally resource myself. Learning how to regulate my nervous system, specifically in relation to my erotic wisdom, has been pivotal in my process.
During this low tide, I also came to appreciate how vital my personal daily practices are, even when they feel like more things to do or if I don’t feel like it. One of my teachers often speaks about the importance of prioritising with personal practice, especially when one doesn’t feel like it, or during times of turbulence and uncertainty.
So, I make time in amongst the busyness of my life, to return to selected practices that ground me in my body, nourish and enliven me, and support me to live in alignment with myself, while navigating the messiness of everyday life as a mother, partner, and working creative.
Since doing “the work” doesn’t cease, by developing resilience, agility and deep internal listening, we learn to trust in our natural ability to restore harmony and live in alignment with ourselves, no matter what Life presents us with. This trust sustains us as we sift through layers of our being, reclaim our wholeness and recognise our true role on this collective journey.
